Rule #9 – Be The First to Understand
Understanding second and talking first will always put you last.
Previously we learned that Wally Amos realized he wasn’t all that good at listening to others. As a result his cookie business slipped through his fingers to land in someone else’s hands. He came to believe things would have been different had he been better at listening.
When it comes to relationships with others you would do well to apply what he learned. This is a principle that can be expressed many ways. In fact, a well known book put it like this: “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Being a better listener means focusing on what another says and not thinking about how you will reply to what they are saying.
Rule #8 – Build A Better Listening Ear
If you build a better cookie they will buy it, right?
Wally Amos’ aunt made great chocolate chip cookies. As an adult when he was over stressed he created a modified version of his aunt’s recipe that eventual because famous. Some say he had the tastiest cookies around when his company began in 1975.
However, ten years later he was forced to sell his company because of financial problems. What cause this cookie to crumble? Amos himself admits, years later, that he was the reason for the downfall. He was his own worst enemy by not listening to other people. If only he heeded Solomon’s advice that “the wise listen and add to their learning.”
Follow On Twitter
You can follow this blog on Twitter by going to:
Rule #7 – Stop Worrying To Be Happy?!
All you need to be happy is to stop worrying, correct?
In the late 80’s a song suggested if you didn’t worry you’d be happy. While a happy person tends not to worry, a lack of worry doesn’t guarantee internal joy. Yet, some of the lyrics to the song proves useful:
It notes there will always be some trouble going on in our life and when you worry about it then you double it. Additionally, by worrying you influence others negatively (you “bring everybody down”). Finally, the song notes we tend to worry about things that won’t last long (“it will soon pass”). So maybe the song had SOME truth in it after all!
Rule #6 – Don’t Let Words Hurt You
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Learn why this is AND isn’t true!
That’s because nothing can be more damaging than the abusive words we say to ourselves. While this childhood expression is over simplified, it actually is a faint reminder that our self-talk is a very powerful force that all need to learn to use properly.
Rule #5 – Be A Responsible Responder
Responding responsibly is your responsibility! Let’s figure out what that tongue-twister means.
If you’re like me you would rather think what happens to you determines your happiness. Life certainly is easier when others are nice to me or things go my way. But the fact that you or I can still get upset at something an outside observer would judge as something good, means it’s NOT the circumstance that determines satisfaction.
You and I need to look beyond the present moment to see the forest and not just the trees. One of the best ways to gain perspective is to remember Who the source of our JOY is, which Nehemiah 8 reminds us is the Lord.
Rule # 4 – Sweeten Your Sour Lemons
Can you really make lemonade when life hands you lemons?
You’ve heard the expression before, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade,” but what does it really mean. While the message may seem clear, I think a better way to put it is this: “Your response is your responsibility.” No matter what happens to you it’s possible to choose how you will react to it.
Of course, when something exciting happens like winning a million dollars it’s easy to be happy. Yet, you could tell yourself how horrible it will be to pay the taxes on it and start feeling sad. The choice is yours, will you bug yourself with negative self-talk even when good things happen?
Rule # 3 – Change Your Self-Talk Habits
Stop making your problems worse by changing your self-talk habits. Here’s how!
It’s true just thinking good thoughts will not suddenly change your situation. Yet, it’s also true having a bad attitude will only make matters more unpleasant. So, consider carefully how you react to the bad things that happen to you. After all your happiness or joy shouldn’t depend on what’s going on around you.
Putting this into practice means getting into the habit of thinking about the good in your life. Constantly talk to yourself about what’s going RIGHT in your life, so when the WRONGS happen it will be easier to remember the good stuff.
Rule # 2 – Don’t Use Rose Color Glasses
Is putting on rose color glasses the solution to negative think? Hardly!
While I think negative self-talk is a major cause of a person’s problems, I don’t believe in the overly simplistic notion that mere positive thinking will instantly change everything. For example, if you are feeling depressed, saying “I am a lovable person” doesn’t magically lift those dark clouds.
However, I do trust in the principle that it’s better to think about things that are true, honorable, right, pure, beautiful and respected as encouraged in Philippians 4:8 (NCV). Paul is saying here we need to make it an everyday habit to FOCUS on what is good. This, of course, takes time; which I’m out of, so let’s look at this again next time.
